Confidence in Connection
By: Sarah Orloff ~ Still Waters Equitation©
We all struggle with connection and confidence at some point. Just as we gain confidence in one thing, we may lose it in the next thing. Sometimes we feel a connection in one moment and then lose it in the next. Often, we can lose confidence when we lose connection.
So how do we regain connection, how do we build confidence?
Finding how a rider/owner processes information and finding out what they do with that information is very important. As a professional, I cannot just simply work with horses, I must work with their humans. I have found that sometimes the most anxious riders are often the ones with a lot of “feel”. They are also, at times, the ones with the least “tools”. This has also been my own experience with horses. I did not like how things felt and feeling helpless created a heavy amount of anxiety. It was not until amazing horsemen (and women) broke things down into the tiniest details for me that I could process what I was “feeling”. Sometimes we need to take things back to the very first steps. Here is a horse that is well broke. There is a lot of training and hours put under the saddle, however, the owner is experiencing anxiety and disconnect. The owner “feels” a lot of things but is also not confident that they have the tools to do anything about what they feel. The first step is to empower the owner. To help them understand WHAT is happening and WHAT things can be done. To help them trust themselves. IF we don’t know WHY things feel the way they do, then how can we expect to know what to do to help? Here is a very simple exersice - working with a cavesson in hand. Here, the owner is HELPING the horse to move correctly at a walk within its entire spine. They are feeling the entire body through the skull, they are understanding the domino effect of such a simple thing. Having the poll release, relaxes the mind and body… Having the forehand (shoulders) bare equal weight, helps the body to feel stronger and more balanced… Having the neck extend forward and down opens the throat and air supply to the brain - which allows for deep breathing and relaxation. When we first started working in this simple way, the horse was very compressed. The first response was to tuck the head and take shorter steps. Once the understanding was there, the body relaxed. Mind and Body connected.
Moving in a methodical way, every step with a purpose, helps to relax the hind end as well as the forehand. After just 30 min of this exercise this horse was completely released in its hind end. The hip is able to flex to the inside, along with the poll and ribs. The horse was standing very strong and square in the hind legs when we were finished, whereas before, he wasn't able to find that balance. The owner felt very empowered once they were able to understand how to ask and help their horse for these things. They felt their confidence build. We will add to these small layers until there is a solid foundation. The horse (and owner/rider) should understand these thin layers in full before we add more things. The owner felt a calm and peaceful connection with the horse that they knew was there but didn’t know exactly how to bring it into reality. This simple work also helped the owner to start to be able to recognize the horses natural asymmetry (and what to do about it).
Picture 1 - Here, the owner is asking the horse to be soft in the poll and to remember where their forehand and shoulders needs to be. It’s interesting to see just how in-sync they are here with their bodies/legs. The owner is also working on “soft vision” - to consciously see the things that are happening even though they are focusing on a specific task.
Picture 2 - Here, the horse is stepping outward with their outside limb/shoulder, keeping its weight more even. The head comes up a bit higher for just a step. You can see the hip starting to flex inward - this will release the outside loin and hip while strengthening the inside core, loin and hip. The owner’s steps are still matching the horses.
Picture 3 - This is so cool to see!! The horse’s body has relaxed. Its nose is a bit farther forward, the neck is supple and lengthened. The entire outside of the horse is in a nice bend. The forehand is even in it’s weight distribution and the hind end is taking long relaxed steps while the hip freely flexes inwardly.
The owner was able to FEEL the body through the skull movement. Knowing what to do and how to help their horse in motion, in the correct timing and understanding what outcome to wait for helped to bring confidence in their connection. They learned to channel their inner scientist and experiment with finding the correct tool for their horse. You won't always use the same tool for the same issue or task. Sometimes you will need a completely different tool for the same thing when you simply switch directions. Soon they will bridge the gap from the cavesson to the bridle, then they will repeat under-saddle. By the time they get to doing these things under-saddle, the owner will feel empowered, confident and connected.
Never stop searching for the answers, never stop asking or RE-asking the questions. ALWAYS search for new tools, how they work, why they are used and when they may work for you and your horse. Happy Horsin!!